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Fashion Book: Eleanor & Park

2014 July 18

eleanor and park

I suggested Eleanor & Park  for book club this month because we needed something uplifting, something light. Turns out, Eleanor & Park was not as light and uplifting as I thought, but I loved it anyway.

Park is the only Asian kid in his Nebraska high school in 1986. He wears black and listens to punk music. On the bus, that particular circle of high school hell, he prefers to listen to his headphones and read comic books than hang out with the obnoxious kids in the back of the bus. When Eleanor appears on the bus one day, no one knows her, and because she looks different, no one will let her sit with them. It’s like that scene in Forrest Gump. “Seat’s taken.” Park is so embarrassed for the girl that he lets her sit next to him, but he has no intention of ever talking to her, because that would be a way of drawing attention to himself, which is the last thing Park wants.

Eleanor is bigger than most high school girls. She has long, curly red hair and freckles. She wears oversize men’s clothing and neckties around her wrists like bracelets. She’s unlike anyone else, but just like everyone else in that she feels uncomfortable in her skin.

Eventually, Eleanor and Park form an uneasy friendship, wordlessly reading comics together on the bus until one day, they start talking and don’t stop. They trade comics and cassette tapes. Eleanor is tortured in ways only high school girls are capable of, and meanwhile, her home life is a wreck. Park is the only real comfort in her life.

I loved this book because Eleanor and Park were real people, not just caricatures of high school students in love. They have real problems and real emotions and deal with them in realistic ways for teenagers. Their love isn’t schmaltzy or cheap or based on hormones. They get confused and angry and jealous. Sometimes they do or say the complete wrong thing. And it’s lovely.

One of the hallmarks of the book is that it takes place in the 80s, and the music that Eleanor and Park share is essential. I read most of the book on a flight from Boston to Portland, listening to my 80s playlist I created on Spotify–the Smiths, the Cure, New Order, Joy Division–the music gave the words dimension. I recommend doing the same if you read the book (especially if you’re not familiar with the music of that era!). But Rainbow Rowell doesn’t hit you over the head with too many 80s cultural references. Instead, she lightly peppers the plot with tiny references to the time period, giving us just enough of a sense of the time and place without dating the book or making it seem like their story couldn’t have happened in another time. Because it could–the music might be different, and the kids would be trading mp3′s instead of cassette tapes, but the feelings would be the same.

I thought it would be fun to take a stab at Eleanor’s unique style. Here’s what I came up with:

Fashion Book: Eleanor & Park
Fashion Book: Eleanor & Park by jldurso featuring blue jeans

Book Review: Dept. of Speculation

2014 July 15

dept_of_spec_cover

 

By most definitions, Jenny Offill’s Dept. of Speculation wouldn’t truly be considered a novel. It’s 192 pages long, with little in the way of a traditional plot. It’s told in a series of vignettes, flashes and scenes with no real beginning, middle, or end.

I read the whole book on a red-eye flight from Portland to Boston, my reading light one of the only ones lit in the dark of the plane. The plane rocked and churned and shook all the way across the country and my stomach was doing too many flips to try to sleep, so I read.

Stripped to its bare bones, it’s a story of a woman meeting a man, falling in love, and getting married. They write love letters to one another. The husband writes songs for her. The wife gets pregnant and has a baby, a daughter, and falls in love with her, watches in wonder as she gets older and becomes a “being with a soul.” They live in Brooklyn. They get bed bugs.

When the husband cheats on the wife, my stomach flipped again and I had to put the book away for a little while. There were too many lines that resonated too sharply:

“People say, You must have known. How could you not know? To which she says, Nothing has ever surprised me more in my life.” 

and

“There is a time between being a wife and being a divorcee, but no good word for it. Maybe say what a politician would say. Stateless person. Yes, stateless. Either way it’s going to be terrible for a long time, the shrink says.”

I picked up the book again after I slept for a little bit. By that time, the plane’s motion was calmer and morning light was visible through the windows with raised shades. So I finished.

It’s a not a book with an ending you can spoil, but even so, I won’t say what happens. The pleasure is in the reading, in the sentences and the sentiments. Even if you’ve never been married, maybe especially if you’ve never been married, you should read this book–it’s a well-drawn study in the many different forms human love can take–from lust to adoration to fear to protection to hate and back again. Carve out a couple of hours and sit down and be with this book.
“The thing is this: Even if the husband leaves her in this awful craven way, she will still have to count it as a miracle, all of those happy years she spent with him.”

 

Stitch Fix #5

2014 July 1

I need your help with this one, you guys. I got my fifth Stitch Fix box last night and I’m stumped.

I have $40 in gift cards to spend from my birthday, and I don’t want to lose my stylist credit of $20, but I honestly didn’t love anything they sent me this time.

Here are some (poor quality) photos of what I got:

photo 1 (1)

I like this dress, but again, it’s 100% polyester, and not the most flattering fit. It’s probably the thing that I’ll end up keeping though? It’s $78.

photo 2 (1)

This dress has some cute beading on the top and a keyhole back, but it’s very sheer and flimsy, almost like something you’d get at Forever21. Not something I would keep, especially for $68.

photo 3 (1)

I really like this shirt. It has a scoop-neck back, which I love (I tried to get a photo of it, but it was ridiculous), but it’s a little long and I don’t tend to wear t-shirts too often. The major problem, though, is that it’s $74. I would never pay that much for a cotton top in a regular store!

photo 4 (1)

 

And here’s a red-orange top with blue piping that would be cute for the 4th of July, but is too plain and boring to really keep. I think it’s $64. Also, I specifically said I didn’t like the color orange in my last review, so I’m unsure why they chose this one for me.

The last thing I got was a sheer white sleeveless blouse. The note from the stylist said they knew I didn’t like sheer things (because I’d said as much from my previous box) so they included a white camisole to wear underneath, which was nice, but…they didn’t have anything that wasn’t see-through? I didn’t even take a picture because the shirt didn’t fit right either–it was way too short.

I’d asked for a printed skirt, a midi-skirt, or a fun yellow dress in my request–they said none of those items were available. Really? No printed skirts? At all? I don’t know, this box was frustrating, especially because they sent me two things I specifically didn’t like from my previous fix–an orange top and something completely see-through.

So I’m left with a choice between the $78 shirt dress, which I think would be a nice choice for the office and would transition well to the winter with tights, or the $74 t-shirt with the cute scoop back. With my gift cards, neither one will break my budget, but after this one, I think I’m going to take a long break from Stitch Fix. The quality just isn’t good enough to justify the price, in my opinion.

Has anyone else had this experience with Stitch Fix? Did you keep trying?

Also, which one should I keep??

 

Public Displays of Sadness

2014 June 26

don't talk

 

 

A couple of months ago, I was having dinner with a favorite friend of mine and she mentioned, casually, that her husband (also a friend of mine) had noticed that my Tweets had been more sad than usual, and he’d wondered if there was something wrong. I reassured her that everything was fine, but when I got home that night, I looked back through my Twitter account to see what he could have been concerned about. Sometimes, I get caught up in a wave of sadness or nostalgia or angst, and yes, those feelings can manifest themselves in maudlin tweets. But on this particular occasion, even scrolling back several weeks, I didn’t see anything unusual or alarming.

Our conversation stayed with me, though, because I thought it was interesting on a macro level. Just how honest are we supposed to be in our social media personas? A video has been making the rounds the last few days that tackles this very question–the pressure we all feel to lie about our lives for the benefit of our online audience (or at least embellish) to make ourselves feel better. But I think it goes deeper than that. I don’t think it’s just to make ourselves feel better-I think, ultimately, when you’re relentlessly positive and upbeat online, you’re doing everyone a favor because sadness is uncomfortable.

feelings

 

Look, I get it. Sadness and feelings are messy and we barely know what to do with our own, never mind know how to handle someone else’s. Especially when that someone else is flaunting their sad all over the Internet when all you want is puppy videos and funny gifs.

I’m a person who values honesty and communication, as hokey as it sounds. But it’s a lot easier for me to vent about my sad in writing than it is to do it with words of the spoken variety. And even though Twitter, Facebook, and my blog are public spaces, open to a variety of people (both strangers and friends), it’s somehow comforting to be able to vent about the things that are bothering me, and to not be able to do that because I’m worried that other people don’t want to deal with my sadness or that they will be worried about me would make me feel censored and upset.

Over the last six months or so, many people have complimented me on my “strength” or whatever, about being able to move forward from the wreckage of the life I had before. And I appreciate that, I really do, but I’m also really just SAD sometimes. I have good days and bad days. Lately, people have been asking me if it’s gotten any better, and the truth is honestly–no. I think it WILL get better, eventually–but for now, it’s just the good days and bad days. I’m told to stop thinking about it, stop talking about it, live in the present. But guess what? That’s really hard, and I’m trying my best, but I can’t pretend that something really shitty didn’t happen and isn’t still happening. I know nothing I do or say will change that, but sometimes you just need space to be sad and angry and vent. Just because your feelings are messy doesn’t mean they’re not valid or appropriate for public consumption.

So, for the most part, I’ve been trying to keep my messy, gross emotions to a minimum, especially out in public. But sometimes things happen and I end up crying in the backseat of my friend’s car or posting sad song lyrics on Twitter or an angsty Gchat status about life being a nightmare. But I’m still okay! Because it’s okay to be sad sometimes, especially when your worst nightmare pretty much came true out of nowhere! I am going through something I wish no one had to go through, but we’re all going through something, or have been through something, traumatic and we just keep going, because that’s what you do. And none of us should feel ashamed at talking about it or thinking about it or writing about it or even whining about it on the Internet.

“Yeah, but I don’t know what to say,” or “I didn’t want to have to tell you…” That’s fine. I understand that. I’ve been that person, too. But know that you often don’t need to say anything–just acknowledging that the other person is sad and that’s okay is enough. I saw this little comic on Facebook today and thought it was appropriate:

nests

 

 

This got real. Sorry, I’m not sorry.

But seriously, my friends and family have been the best things and have kept me from the brink in these tough months. I’m really interested in how we deal with our emotions on the Internet though, as well as in person. Do you share personal things online? Does it make you uncomfortable when someone else does it? Are you going to stop reading my blog because I’m too feelingsy?

I hope this post didn’t make you uncomfortable.

april

Best of the Looks, Best of the Books 6.20.14

2014 June 20

I feel like I say this (or at least feel it) every week lately, but this week was LONG and exhausting. In a serious way. I’m looking forward to what I hope will be a relaxing weekend–a comedy show with coworkers, potential beach outing, drinks on the porch, and Shakespeare on a roof deck. I could get used to this lovely weather Boston has been having–more of this, please, weather gods!

Best of the Looks:

ladytux

Though I don’t think I’ll be wearing a jumpsuit anytime soon, I really like HollyDolly’s “lady tux,” which she wore to a formal event. Looks so chic, no?

Love this bold green Zara dress.

Cute summer hair trick.

This swimsuit is amazing–business in the front, party in the back!

Julianne Moore as famous works of art–breathtaking.

Best of the Books:

What makes a great editor?

I’m really interested in Emily Gould’s writing and career–here’s a good profile of her in Elle

My friend and writing hero, CJ Hauser, wrote a novel and it’s called the From-Aways and it is wonderful. Here’s a quick interview with her about the book.

This satire of Nicole Krauss and Jonathan Safran Foer’s breakup cracked me up. (Though I know divorce isn’t funny…but come on, they’re selling their house for 14.5 MILLION DOLLARS.)

Old news at this point, but Lupita Nyong’o is producing a film adaptation of Americanah, one of my favorite novels of the past year. It’s going to be wonderful.

 

Have a beautiful and restorative weekend, everyone!